


What's It Like?

by HJMoriarty, OfDarknessAndLight



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Bottom Hux, Enemies to Lovers, Fluff and Smut, Kylux - Freeform, Kylux Smut, M/M, Smut, Top Kylo Ren
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-23
Updated: 2017-02-23
Packaged: 2018-09-26 12:12:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9895979
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HJMoriarty/pseuds/HJMoriarty, https://archiveofourown.org/users/OfDarknessAndLight/pseuds/OfDarknessAndLight
Summary: A crisis of self-worth causes Kylo Ren to seek comfort in the arms of General Hux.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This little one-shot was inspired by a brilliant piece of fanart, here: http://suzannart.tumblr.com/post/143805586317/please-dont-look-at-me
> 
> Hope you enjoy! xo

General Hux was a tiger - powerful, strong, graceful. There was a challenge in his eyes, a dare for anyone to stand against him. To get in his way. To hinder his retreat back to his quarters after a day of dealing with Resistance spies and a new weapon on the rise. His crew scurried around him, too fearful of what the fiery haired man might do if they crossed him.

And therein lay the difference between the General and Kylo Ren.

Everyone  _ knew _ what Ren would do when crossed. They had all seen the sparks and the flames. They’d heard the screams and seen the blood.

With Hux, though, there was no evidence. There was no predictability. People just simply vanished. There one moment and forgotten the next as their presence was dismissed from this life. Allegedly. No one had found any proof to actually condemn the General, except that he’d generally had a certain level of conflict with those who disappeared.

Jade eyes downcast, the ginger flipped through the reports flashing on his datapad. It had been a quiet day and that was mostly because their resident knight had made himself scarce. People trembled like reeds in a gale at Kylo Ren’s name, but today those gusts had died down to a breeze - idle wondering about where the man had gotten to, rather than the usual quaking fear of the living grim. Regardless, Hux made sure that there was nothing about the Force user on his tablet before he pinned in the code to his chambers.

A startled noise - a squeak that Hux would deny to his very grave - fell from the ginger when his gaze fell upon the breathing shadow outlined in his bedroom door. “Maker, Ren!”

Kylo Ren sat stooped on the edge of General Hux’s bed, head in hands, black waves falling around his face like a stage curtain. He had sensed Hux’s presence long before the ginger had walked into the room, and was not in the least surprised by his exclamation upon seeing the knight. Slowly, he lifted his head to meet Hux’s gaze. 

“I apologize if I startled you,” he said in a low, measured tone, but offered no further explanation for his presence in the General’s private quarters. 

Hux shook his head, arms crossing over themselves for a moment before he spun on his heel to walk back out of his bedroom. Greatcoat hung up and gloves pulled off, the ginger sauntered into the kitchen to get a bottle of water and try to get his stoic facade under control before he faced the knight once more.

“I’m not interested tonight, Lord Ren. I’m tired. I just want to go to bed.”

Kylo nodded solemnly, staring down at his hands. He had never been good with expressing his emotions, preferring to keep all feeling bottled up inside, until it caused one of the explosions for which he'd become so infamous.  This occasion was no different.  He considered trying to convey the mental anguish he'd been battling - knew he would feel much better if he could, but the words simply would not come.  

With a sigh, the knight stood to his feet and looked around the room, as if he'd only just realized where he was.  Idly, he stepped over to Hux’s desk and began fiddling with a small, intricately carved wooden box he found there. Only after picking it up did he realize that it was a puzzle box.  Apropos, he thought.  He'd never been good at those, either, but it was a welcome distraction - an excuse not to leave just yet. 

“Fine,” he said quietly, focusing his attention on the trinket in his hands. 

The General furrowed his brow, jade eyes flicking up and down the knight. He wasn’t acting like himself. Rather, he wasn’t acting like a scared child. He was acting broken. Like the puzzle box in his hand was less of a toy and more of a prison that wouldn’t open for him. Hux moved over, taking the trinket from the taller man and setting it back down on the desk.  Turning his attention back to Ren, he asked, “What wrong with you, Kylo?” His head tilted slightly. “Do you need a med-droid? Why are you in my room?”

Kylo glared at Hux as the box was taken out of his hands and put back on the desk. It shouldn't have bothered him, or even surprised him. Yet in his current state, it felt like just another slap in the face - like he was nothing more than a child in a china shop, capable of nothing but senseless destruction of someone else’s property. He pulled himself up to his full height and replaced his mask of indifference. 

“I had hoped you might provide some company. Conversation, intellectual stimulation, call it what you will.”  His argument was flat, and he knew it. His shoulders slumped slightly and his eyes darted back to the puzzle box on the desk. He was tempted to pick it up again, just to assert his independence, but he thought better of it. 

“I just didn't want to be alone,” he finally said.

The sigh that fell from Hux was one part frustrated and two parts confused. All he wanted to do was take the evening off. To sleep and catch up on all the rest that the war had taken away from him for the past some-odd years of his life. “Lord Ren...” he began, the authority already draining out of his voice no matter how hard he tried to keep it hard and level.

The two of them had found themselves in a physical relationship - rather, a ‘united and consensual means of stress relief’ - by accident. One fateful fight had led to them pressed up against a wall and gasping for breath. Another fight had Hux bent over his desk as he tried not to make a noise. After that, they stopped trying to put an end to it.

Never had they crossed the line into any emotional ties. It was cleaner that way. No one got hurt that way.

So for the knight to suddenly appear in his room ‘not wanting to be alone’, the General could only guess at what he was supposed to do. “Kylo,” Hux tried again, purposefully taking the puzzle box and moving it further away from his surprise guest. “ _ What _ do you  _ want _ ? I get enough riddles from Leader Snoke. I don’t need them from you. What’s wrong?”

Kylo winced, as if he'd been physically struck. He stared at Hux like he couldn't comprehend the question, but the longer he stared, the more overwhelmed he felt.  He turned his head, searching for anything on which to fix his gaze - anything but the man before him. He finally settled his attention on a scratch on the wall. 

What  _ did _ he want?  Ren didn't even fully know the answer, himself. How could he possibly put into words the blackness that threatened to swallow him whole?  He blinked, inhaling sharply, and shook his head. “It was foolish of me to come here,” he said, and began walking toward the door. 

A pale hand reached out before its owner could think better of it, grabbing the knight’s arm and stopping his steps. The General pulled back from the other man like he’d been burned, unsure, exactly, why he had thought it was acceptable to take hold of Ren. Righting himself and clearing his throat, he searched for a reason - for something to say that would explain away why he suddenly seemed to want to keep the man there.

“The guards are changing. If you leave, now, they’ll see you exiting my room. I won’t have you tarnishing my reputation, Lord Ren,” Hux offered, though his voice wasn’t nearly as strong as he’d have liked. “You’d might as well make yourself comfortable for a while.”

Kylo froze and glanced down at the General’s hand just as he drew it back.  He turned his head, slowly lifting his gaze to meet Hux’s.  Absently, he brought his other hand to rest on the arm that Hux had grabbed, rubbing the spot softly.  “Well, we wouldn’t want to tarnish your precious reputation,  _ General _ ,” he grumbled, but pushed past Hux and took up his position on the edge of the bed once more.  He knew that nothing had really changed -  that eventually, he would have to leave - but for that moment, he felt a sudden rush of euphoric relief.  

Hux closed his eyes to keep them from rolling. When he’d clocked out, the last thing he’d expected was to have a brooding guest awaiting him in his quarters. He stalked back out of the bedroom and into the kitchen, losing his boots on the way back into his room. His bare feet padded across the floor until he stood beside the knight, holding out a water bottle for the man and taking a seat just a few inches to Ren’s right. He took a sip of his own, letting the cool drink run down his throat as the silence blanketed them like wet clothes after a rain. It clung in the air and all around them, weighing down their shoulders, though they did not speak of troubles.

Jade eyes cast their gaze to the taller of the two, tracing his outline like an artist might a model. The General inched his hand closer to the other man, unsure how to approach Ren in any other way than they had previously.

Kylo watched Hux’s hand as it moved closer to him.  He’d been feeling so rattled that he hadn’t even been thinking about sex, and yet, if he couldn’t  _ talk _ about what was bothering, maybe a diversion was what he needed.  After all, their sexual escapades in the past had been primarily a means of letting off steam.  The possibility of sexual activity to come sent sparks down his spine, warming and waking every nerve ending in his body.  He looked slowly from the General’s hand, up his arm to his face.  He needed to just let go.  Without thinking, he leaned in and pressed his lips to Hux’s, lifting one hand to rest at the nape of his neck.  

The ginger closed his eyes in response, leaning forward and bracing his hands against the knight’s thigh as he tilted his head to deepen the kiss. This, he understood. They had gone through this dance plenty of times - and perhaps it wasn’t the most healthy way to deal with problems, but so long as it worked, Hux saw no reason to try and replace it with something else. He smirked, pulling back far enough to start pressing kisses down the side of Ren’s neck. “I think you have too many clothes on, Kylo.”

Kylo tipped his head, letting his eyes fall closed as he gave himself over to the sensations that skittered over his flesh, causing goosebumps to rise.  “I fully agree,” he sighed, shirking off his outer robe and unbuttoning his shirt.  His hands trembled slightly, and it took him longer than it should have to remove the shirt.  Frustration bubbled up in his chest, but he pushed it back down, instead reaching out to fumble with Hux’s top.  As soon as the fabric had been parted, he twisted his body, pushing Hux backward and climbing over him.  

This felt good - it felt right - it felt...normal.  His body was responding, making his pants feel tight and restrictive.  He lowered his pelvis, grinding against his lover.  He groaned softly, shivering as his lips left a trail of kisses down Hux’s chest to his stomach, where he paused long enough to unbuckle the General’s belt.  When he tried to unzip Hux’s pants, however, the zipper snagged, and once again, he felt that frustration rise in his chest.  Could he do  _ nothing  _ right?  Kylo pinched his eyes closed and grit his teeth.  Everything was falling apart.  He couldn’t even  _ fuck  _ without making a mess of things. 

The ginger jerked when his zipper was pulled on. “Ow, Maker, can we not tear my pants this time, Ren?” He snapped, long legs moving to wrap around the knight’s hips as he raised his arms to pull Kylo back down, their lips slotting together once more. The kiss deepened almost as soon as it started, tongues twisting and pushing against one another as pale hands ran up and down the muscular chest over him.

He could feel the tension in each muscle, could almost imagine the air crackling around them as Ren’s frustration and aggravation mounted. Dispel. Distract. The General arched up, pressing their hips ever closer to one another as his fingers moved up to tangle in dark waves of hair. He tugged on them once and felt something akin to static electricity go over his hands. Brow furrowing, Hux did it again, harder this time and almost instantly his hands snapped to the bed, invisible bonds holding him in place as he turned out of the kiss.

“Kylo, what the fuck are you doing?!”

“I’m not doing anything!” he growled, rearing back.  But even as the words fell from his lips, he knew he  _ had  _ done something. It hadn’t been intentional, but he had done it.  Hux writhed against invisible bonds as he glared angrily at the Knight.  Ren focused, intentionally releasing the bonds on Hux’s wrists and flopping down on the bed, turning his back on Hux.  He curled into a ball, hiding his face in his hands as the tears he could no longer hold back began to flow, his shoulders heaving with each silent sob.  

The ginger sat up almost instantly, his heart beating as he turned his gaze to Ren. He shook his head - right from the beginning, the General had set in place that anything that involved restraints would need to be accepted by both parties. Never had the knight turned and used the Force against him - not even in their most heated arguments. Not even when everyone around them backed out of the room, for fear of what would happen. For fear that the fight between the men would take a turn for the worse and send sparks and flames flying in all directions.

So why would he use it, now?

Hux slowly scooted over, sitting up and reaching toward the knight before pulling his hand back. No strings attached, right?

Urging Ren to sit up as well, the ginger moved behind him, wrapping his arms around Kylo’s waist and letting one leg bracket the larger man’s. Hux acted without thinking, letting his instincts tell him what to do as he leaned forward to press a kiss to the middle of the toned back before him. “It’s okay,” he offered. “No harm, no foul?”

Kylo shook his head, wiping at his face to dry his tears.  “No,” he said, voice hoarse and breath faltering as his diaphragm spasmed periodically.  “It’s not okay.  I’m sorry, Hux.  I should never have come here tonight.”  

“Breathe,” Hux ordered softly, pressing his forehead against Ren’s back. “It’s fine. You didn’t hurt me. Did you… Did you not mean to do that?”

“No, I didn’t,” he said, shaking his head again.  The Knight placed a hand over Hux’s, gripping it firmly - his one life line as he felt himself hurtling out of control. “It’s just something that...happens sometimes.”  He sighed deeply and pivoted so he could look into Hux’s face.  His eyes were red and moist with tears that he still fought against.  “I destroy everything I set my hand to.  Everything I touch turns to ash.”

“Well, not  _ everything _ ,” the ginger shot back, instantly snapping his mouth shut before any other remark made itself heard before he gave it permission. Hux glanced away. Kylo was not a man of sorrow - he wasn’t even really supposed to be a man to most people. He was supposed to be a force of reckoning. A monster in the shadows and under the bed. Here, now, he was entirely too human to deny.

If Hux was honest, Kylo Ren had become too human to deny from the moment this little arrangement had begun.

Reaching out, the General wiped away Kylo’s tears, sighing softly. “Stay here tonight.” He let that offer linger for a few seconds before he added half-heartedly. “People shouldn’t see their commanding officer like this.” Hux’s tone betrayed him - there was no authority, now. No bite behind his words. An optional excuse, if Ren wanted to take it. “The bed’s big enough for two.”

Kylo pinched the bridge of his nose and furrowed his brow.  He felt so weak and vulnerable, and he hated it, but at the same time, he desperately wanted to accept the offer, and he hated that, too.  Besides his desire to not be alone, though, he knew that Hux’s words were true.  He nodded.  “Thank-you,” whispered.  “If you’re sure it’s no trouble.”  

“No. Please,” the ginger stated, standing to move over to his dresser and pull out a pair of pajama bottoms. He changed quickly, accepting that their time of play was over and deeming that he’d might as well get cozy. Inside his head, he was banging his thoughts against his skull, desperately trying to decide why he suddenly felt that it was so important that Ren stayed with him. “I don’t have anything that will fit you,” he stated instead of continuing to think about everything around him. “But make yourself comfortable.”

With that, the General slipped under the blankets, laying on his back and looking out the viewport before him. Space stretched across his bedroom wall through the one-way window. Vibrant colors etched into the sky like they were dusted there - watercolors falling from a master brush. He folded his hands on his stomach, waiting for Ren to settle.

Kylo took his lower lip between his teeth and nodded.  He hadn’t wanted to seem too eager to accept Hux’s invitation, but he was incredibly relieved when the ginger had insisted.  Silently, he stood from the bed and slipped out of his pants.  Clad in only his boxer shorts, the Knight climbed back into bed.  He looked over at Hux, lying on his back, and he had the sudden impulse to snuggle up to the General, resting his head on the other man’s chest.  He imagined the feeling of Hux’s fingers combing through his hair and the sound of his voice, speaking softly to him.  It was an image so far removed from their usual conduct, that he almost laughed out loud at the idea.  Instead, he looked away, rolling onto his side with his back to Hux and his arms wrapped around his chest.  

Jade eyes stayed on the stars, counting the twinkling lights outside his room as they slowly danced in blues and purples. He listened to Kylo’s breathing - that unsteady, shaking sound that filled the air around him. He wanted to move closer, to steady the man that he once thought unwavering. He wanted to bring him back up so that there was no question that he would not be broken on his own, but Hux’s mind couldn’t quite wrap around the idea of comforting someone not on the battlefield.

Instead he whispered in the dark, “what’s it like... being like that?”

Kylo blinked.  What was it like?  He wondered whether Hux really wanted to know, or whether he was just trying to fill the silence with conversation.  Somehow, he didn’t think that was the case.  General Hux was not the type of man to speak just for the sake of speaking.  Once more, he was faced with the seemingly impossible task of putting his feelings to words.  He drew a shaky breath.  Without turning, he said, “It’s terrifying.”  

The ginger stayed silent at that - the answer not having been what he expected to hear. He certainly didn’t think that Ren was going to wax poetic about the grandness of the Force and how the power that ran through him was the best thing that had ever happened to him, but the idea of Kylo being terrified, of  _ anything _ , after all that Hux had seen him do and overcome, struck the General in a way that left him completely lost. So he remained quiet, letting the knight take it as he would and continue his answer, if there was anything else that could be said.

Ren closed his eyes and took a deep breath.  Somehow Hux’s silence was comforting, and he felt compelled to go on.  “Lonely…”  He swallowed, hating the way his throat constricted and his chest tightened.  He refused to cry again, but he couldn’t stop his body from trembling.  

A star shot across the sky.

A moment later, jade orbs turned their focus to the man in the bed, running down the length of his back and watching the way the muscles seemed to be in a constant cycle of tensing and untensing. A pale hand reached out, moving to lightly glide the back of Hux’s fingers down part of Ren’s back. An invitation, in a way. A silent showing that ‘alone’ was anything but what the knight was in that moment.

Kylo shivered at the feeling of Hux’s fingers trailing down his spine.  Suddenly, he no longer cared about appearing weak or vulnerable.  In that moment, the only thing that mattered was the fact that there was someone lying beside him.  He rolled over to face the ginger, tears still standing in his eyes and lip quivering.  This was unfamiliar territory for him, but he couldn’t fight the driving urge he felt to be closer.  He scooted across the mattress and reached out one hand to gently trace Hux’s cheekbone with his fingertips.  

“I’m not what everyone thinks I am,” he said softly.  His eyes darted quickly from Hux’s eyes to his lips and back again.  “To wield this kind of power is…”  He trailed off, pursing his lips as his fingers moved to lightly brush across the General’s lips.  No one ever asked the Knight about these things.  Whether the reason was that people were too afraid of him, or simply didn’t care, he did not know.  Both possibilities were equally isolating.  Slowly, he lifted his hand to run his fingers through the General’s fiery hair.  Without another word, he leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to Hux’s lips.  

A gasp fell from pale lips, jade eyes widening as the taller man moved ever closer to him. The kiss was different than any other that they had ever shared. It wasn’t demanding. It wasn’t competitive. It wasn’t trying to prove one thing or another. It was gentle, wanting. Lost. Lithe arms moved as the General shifted onto his side and pulled the knight closer, holding him tightly with his arms wrapped around broad shoulders. “You are  _ not _ a monster,” Hux whispered. “No matter how much of one you try to be. You’re…”

He understood. Or, rather, he understood to a point. To have to stand as two separate identities in one mind. To have an outward face that everyone saw and knew, while also holding onto a truer personality - hidden away in war, for those who truly knew him, got close to him, would be his undoing. “It’s okay, Kylo.”

“I don’t know what I am, anymore,” Kylo said softly.  “I’m not sure I even know what I  _ want _ to be.  All my life, I’ve been surrounded by people who expected me to conform to their expectations, and I’ve always disappointed them when I failed.  I’ve spent my whole life trying to be one thing or another, but I’ve never been able to be  _ myself _ .”  He shrugged, frowning.  “I’d probably be a failure at that, too.”  

“My name is Calic,” Hux suddenly said, unsure about why that mattered until he continued talking. “My father named me Armitage. My mother named me Calic. My father thought I was an abomination all my life. Never wanted to give me his last name because he thought I wasn’t worth it. I spent...most of my years trying to please him. And I never amounted to anything. It was only after I stopped giving a damn what he thought that I became General.”

Kylo regarded the General, drinking in each word.  He’d never given much thought to Hux’s past or his family, assuming that he’d had a model childhood.  The thought that this man could have been a disappointment to anyone, ever, was completely foreign to him.  He frowned, trying to make sense of it.  

“I suppose he must be proud of you  _ now _ , though.  How could he not be?” 

“He hates my guts, Kylo,” the ginger responded instantly. “He’ll always hate my guts, even more, now that I’m not trying to raise the Empire, but am paving forth the new order.” Hux gave a little shrug. “He’ll always see me as not enough, and what do I care? After everything that I’ve done, who’s he to say anything?” Slender arms gave a pointed squeeze to the knight. “You are more than you know, Kylo Ren.”

Kylo studied Hux’s face, trying to discern whether he was telling the truth about not caring what his father thought, but decided that, even if he was not, it wasn’t his place to point it out.  “I…” he broke off, unsure what he wanted to say.  “So are you, Calic Hux,” he simply said with a faint smile.  

Jade dropped down for a moment, focusing on Ren’s lips in thought before he realized where he was looking. He slowly cast his gaze around them, then swallowed around the pounding in his heart.  “I do not know what you’re going through, Ren. I can’t pretend to know. But stumbling along the way does not make you a failure. It makes you human.”  Their lips met again before the General realized that he had been the one that initiated it.

Kylo’s eyes slipped closed as their lips met again, and he leaned forward when Hux pulled away.  His heart was pounding in his chest and there was an odd fluttering in his stomach.  This evening was turning out very differently than he had initially planned, but he didn’t want it to stop.  He gazed deeply into the General’s eyes, and what he saw there took his breath away.  Kylo ran his hand, from Hux’s shoulder, down his arm.  A thousand thoughts swirled through his mind, but the only thing he truly wanted was to be closer.  He gently rested his palm against Calic’s cheek and leaned in to bring their lips together again.  

The kiss was different, but Hux couldn’t find it in him to change it. He didn’t want to. This softness. This gentleness. This slowness to the motion of their lips that was so different than the rough pace that normally passed between them. Their meetings were normally hard and fast and much less about fiery passion and pleasure and more about getting rid of excess energy and anger. Everything happening now was so opposite that.

Maybe there were just a  _ few  _ strings attached.

A light smacking sound played on their lips when they parted, but didn’t move away from one another. Little by little, the General pulled Ren on top of him, rolling them until he was gazing up at the knight with a blush dusting his fair cheeks. They were out of their element here. “Be gentle tonight?” He offered as he parted his legs for Kylo. “Slow?”

Kylo nodded. He didn't fully understand what was happening between them, but he didn't care. For once in his life, he felt accepted, and he wasn't about to turn away from that.  

Ren let his eyes roam over the General’s body, from his sleekly toned chest, to his slender hips.  His fingers lightly traced a line over Hux’s stomach to his waistband, and he let his hand linger there. He pressed down gently with his palm and felt Hux’s arousal beneath his sleep pants.  It wasn't exactly a surprise, but for some reason, the discovery pulled a soft gasp from the knight’s mouth. He'd never really taken the time to admire his partner’s body, and he'd never given much thought to whether or not he enjoyed their encounters. It had always been about release. Kylo found his, and Hux found his own. Every man for himself.  But tonight, in that moment, the revelation that this man wanted him - desired him - made his heart skip a beat. 

Ren licked his lips, curled his fingers under Hux’s waistband, and pulled his pants down past his hips, giving himself permission to take in the sight of the ginger’s bared arousal.  He reached down and let his fingers graze the satin skin, shivering softly as he made contact. It felt like he was seeing the ginger for the first time. And maybe he was.  His eyes rose to meet Hux’s jade gaze, and for the first time that night, Kylo smiled. 

The upturn of pale lips responded to the knight as long legs finished kicking off the ginger’s clothes, letting them fall to the wayside as his fingers tangled in the dark waves that adorned his lover like a crown of night. A shiver rippled over his body as fingertips grazed his heated skin, a slender neck baring itself as Hux tipped his head back. “Oh, Maker,” he whispered.

How had he never taken the time to notice the roughness of the taller man’s fingers - skin thickened over years of training - or the way that Ren was so much larger than himself in stature? How had he not taken the time to memorize each line that made up the knight’s muscled physique? To paint in his memory exactly what Kylo looked like so that even when he wore his helmet around everyone else, the General would know what was hidden beneath it. Calic pulled his partner down, their lips brushing, but not connecting as he spoke. “People have fucked me before, Kylo.” Pale hands moved to push down the man’s boxers before circling Ren’s arousal. “But no one has ever made love to me before. Will you?”

Kylo’s breath hitched at the words spoken, and he shivered at the feeling of soft, pale lips gently brushing against his own. He tried to recall whether he had ever truly made love to anyone before, but his mind was blank.  His eyes closed and he sighed in pleasure as he felt Calic’s fingers wrap around his erection, and when they opened again, they were dark with desire. 

“Yes,” he whispered, pressing a short kiss to Hux’s lips before burying his face against the ginger’s neck.  He pushed himself up to discard his boxers, kicking them aside as he turned his full attention back to the man beneath him.  “We’ve never…” He bit his lip, glancing around the room before meeting Hux’s gaze once more. “I want to bring you pleasure,” he said softly. “Do you have any lotion or lubricant?” 

It took a moment for the ginger to realize the truth behind Ren’s words. Spit or something close had always been good enough. Convenient and always on hand. Tonight, though, that wasn’t what was needed. It wasn’t written in the stars that continued to fall outside of the window like raindrops on a cloudy day. Hux nodded slowly, shifting around under the knight until he could reach his bedside table. He opened up the top drawer, rummaging around for the lotion he put on his hands before he fell asleep, passing the bottle over to the knight a moment later.

“That’ll work,” Calic whispered, his heart beating against his ribcage and drumming hard enough that the General was sure that Kylo could hear it. Pleasure. Pleasure and connection. That’s what this night was about. It wasn’t their normal dance, but that was fine. It was a new step. A new rhythm. A new rendition of an old routine. “Okay,” he added as he relaxed back in position. “I’m ready.”

Kylo took the lotion and nodded with a small smile. He squeezed a dollop into the palm of his hand and curled his fingers to spread the lotion over them. He knelt over the General, keeping his gaze fixed on Hux’s as he reached down and slowly pressed one finger inside. Leaning forward, he kissed Hux’s lips briefly, before leaving a trail of kisses up his jawline and down his neck. He took his time, observing every sound that fell from the ginger’s lips, every twitch of muscle beneath his touch, and every ripple of nervous anticipation that drifted off him like a fine cologne.  “I never realized…how beautiful you are,” he murmured against pale skin. 

A soft chuckle fell from the General as he drank in the pleasure given to him. The finger inside of him started a slow rhythm of pushing in and out - a thrust that was much more careful than it was strictly preparational. Hux gazed up at Ren, their foreheads brushing from time to time as they moved around one another. Calic spread his legs farther apart, his own hand reaching down to continue where he left of, gently stroking Kylo’s erection in time with the thrust of the man’s hand. “Oh, Maker,” he murmured. “You’re striking, Kylo.”

Kylo’s eyes fell closed and he gasped softly as his arousal was stroked.  He couldn’t remember anyone ever touching him with so much tenderness, let alone  _ this _ man, who was usually so cold and sharp.  His hips moved involuntarily, thrusting into the General’s hand as he breathed out, “Maker…”  An idea struck him - something he’d never considered trying before, when all he felt was an urgency to meet his climax, and embrace the calm that followed.  As he slipped a second finger inside Calic’s opening, he hooked his fingers, pressing upward as he pulled out.  He straightened them when he plunged back in, but curved them again on his next pass, brushing against the ginger’s prostate.  “How does that feel?” he asked.  

“A-Ah!” The ginger cried out, back arching and pleasure jolting through him like a bolt of lightning. His breathing hitched and his heart rate quickened as jade eyes widened then fell closed, pale lips parting in sharp gasps. Twitches took control of his body, running over him again and again with each hook of the knight’s fingers, with each firm rub hitting that spot within him that only really happened on accident in their previous couplings. “Oh, F-Force,” he grit out, hips rocking against the taller man’s fingers as soft whimpers fell from Hux. “Please. Maker, keep doing that. Ah! Yes, Kylo.”

Ren was astonished by his own reaction to Hux’s cries of pleasure.  It was like a shot of adrenaline to his system, and he eagerly obeyed, focusing on hitting the same spot again and again as his pulse skyrocketed.  He couldn’t remember ever being so aroused - so hard - and for a moment he felt a surge of panic that he might cum in the General’s hand.  “Hux…” he panted, breathless, “I want...I need...Maker...please.”  

Jade eyes gazed up at the knight, so clear and full of swimming desire. He nodded, letting go of Ren’s length to instead sit up just enough to connect their lips in a heated kiss, tongues battling as they normally had - rough, at the start, then slowing down into this new pace they set. “I’m ready,” Calic whispered as he broke their lock of lips. “Force, Kylo, I’m ready. Take me. Make me yours, like this.”

Kylo immediately complied, moving to position himself at Hux’s opening.  Looking down at the man beneath him, it felt like he was seeing him for the first time, and every detail suddenly came into sharp focus - the flecks of green and silver in his eyes, the way his skin seemed to glow in the low light, the curve and fullness of his lips.  With a stuttering nod, he pushed inside and held for a moment.  “Force…” he murmured, blinking as he felt a fresh wave of arousal roll over him.  “Does it feel...how are you...is it ok?” 

The ginger’s head had turned away, giving the knight his profile, but not actually looking at him directly. It confused him more than anything else - this feeling of softness and gentle pleasure. And, yes, his body still protested the intrusion upon the first thrust, but this slower pace gave him time to  _ feel _ everything. Turning his head back to face Ren, Hux nodded, reaching up to brace his hands on the taller man’s shoulders. “I-I’m okay,” he responded, though the question had never been asked of him before. “Maker, Kylo,” he murmured, long legs wrapping around the man’s hips. “M-Move. I’m ready.”

Kylo nodded, swallowing around the lump that had formed in his throat as he began to roll his hips in a slow, steady rhythm. It was so odd, this change in pace. Their bodies were still making the same movements, and they were connected very similarly to how they had always done. So why did this feel so different?  Ren shook his head, trying to clear the thoughts from his racing mind and simply enjoy the moment.  As his thrusts quickened slightly, he leaned down to press their lips together once more, a soft whimper rising up from his chest. [So good...It feels...so...good.]  He hadn't intended to send the thought to Hux, but once it had been shared, he didn't try to take it back. Instead, he deepened the kiss, and slid one hand between their bodies to lightly grasp the ginger’s arousal. 

Gasping into the kiss, the General arched into the touch on his length, rocking his hips into the knight’s hands. The voice in his head startled him enough to come back down from the fog of pleasure that controlled his mind, jade eyes opening as he pulled from the kiss. Something in his mind clicked all at once - everything that the taller man admitted about his powers earlier that night. Long fingers slowly moved to slip into the dark waves of hair adorning his companion’s - lover’s? - head, back bowing as pleasure rushed through him. “O-Oh, Maker,” he whimpered. “Please, so--Ahh!” He cried out, a spike of heat rushing through him and causing his body to tense. [Oh, Force, so good, want more, feels so different.] “Th-There!”

Kylo groaned softly, the General’s thoughts resonating in his mind as he continued to thrust, tilting his hips to hit the spot that had Hux begging for more.  Everything felt so much stronger this way - so much  _ more _ \- more pleasurable, more intimate, more meaningful.  He’d never felt so close to the other man, and he wondered why, in all the times they’d come together, they’d never taken the time to actually  _ know _ one another.  

“Maker…” Kylo panted, grasping Hux’s arousal more tightly and beginning a firm, steady stroking motion as he thrust up into his lover.  “Oh, Force...I’m close!” he gasped, hips beginning to stutter in their motion as he felt his climax building.  

Hux grit his teeth, trying to fight off his own mounting climax. Heat pooled in his belly - more intense, more sensational, more body-wracking than any of the other times they had found release in one another. He cried out, back arching and muscles tensing as Kylo’s thrusts and the strokes of his hand grew just that much faster, that much more powerful, but no more rough, no more driving. Jade eyes widened, then closed, lips parting in a final cry of the knight’s name as Hux hit his peak. White streaks fell over the taller man’s hand and dripped down onto the ginger’s stomach as the General writhed beneath Kylo. “Force, Maker,” he whimpered, eyes revealing themselves once more to gaze up at the knight as dark waves fell around him like a broken halo.

Kylo followed immediately, a broken whimper falling from his lips as his hips bucked.  Panting and gasping as his pace finally slowed, the knight’s golden brown eyes slowly opened to gaze down at the man beneath him.  For a moment, it felt like a dream - completely surreal, and yet the most beautiful kind of fantasy possible.  He let out a shaky breath, allowing his eyes to close once more as his body slumped in exhaustion.  Refusing to rest his full weight on the slighter-framed man, Kylo pulled out and flopped down on the bed next to him, chest heaving and heart pounding.  He felt like he should speak - should say something, but there were no words to say.  So he lay, silently, watching Hux intently, as though he was afraid the General might suddenly vanish or run away.  He reached out a trembling hand and gently cupped Calic’s cheek in one hand.  

The ginger gazed back at Kylo, not entirely sure what had come between them - or even whether it would ever happen again. Was this just one night of sudden softness, to be forgotten come morning? Would they fall back into almost impersonal stress relief partners and forget about the slow, gentle coming together that had fallen over them? Calic wasn’t sure which was the better option - revisiting this moment in the future and continuing the odd warmth he felt, now, or going back to what they had been. He shoved the thoughts away, deciding that now was not the time to think such things.

Instead, he focused, putting all his mind to pressing thoughts to the forefront of his own mind.

[Can you hear me?] Hux tried to project to the knight. He received a twitch of an eyebrow in return, taking that as affirmation. [I don’t know what it’s like to be you, Kylo Ren, but I know that… I know that you are stronger in the Force than anyone I’ve ever known. And perhaps it’s a curse, but it must have its blessings as well. You’re more connected with people. With energy.] He nuzzled into Ren’s hand. [With emotion and sensation. Strong. Deadly. You are so much like your grandfather, and that’s not at all something to fear.]

Kylo was ashamed of the tremble in his lip and the tears that prickled at the back of his eyes at the words he heard resounding in his mind.  He blinked, trying to will the tears away, but only succeeding in forcing them to spill down his cheeks.  It was not the first time that he had been naked in the General’s presence.  Far from it.  And yet, in that moment, he felt more bared - more vulnerable - than he ever had before.  He wanted to run away - to hide his weaknesses and insecurities.  He wanted to cover up the cracks and firmly replace the facade he had spent so much time building up.  But he did none of these things.  Instead, he pulled Hux close against his chest and met his lips in a deep, lingering kiss.  [Thank-you] he answered silently.  [Thank-you.]

  
  



End file.
